Placental abruption...

I had not heard of a placental abruption before it happened to me. I had read a few pregnancy books during my pregnancies but I was still not familiar with the term. I guess I glossed over the worst case scenarios in my what to expect what you are expecting book. I had crazy pregnant lady logic that if I read those sections too closely then those bad things that could happen would happen to me.

Oh the irony.

I have done lots of research on the Internet to help me understand what happened to us and try to help answer the 'why' question that torments me so.

Why did I have a placental abruption?

The Mayo Clinic website has the following information:

Definition:
Placental abruption (abruptio placentae) is an uncommon yet serious complication of pregnancy.
The placenta is a structure that develops in the uterus during pregnancy to nourish the growing baby. If the placenta peels away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery — either partially or completely — it's known as placental abruption. Placental abruption can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients and cause heavy bleeding in the mother. Placental abruption often happens suddenly. Left untreated, placental abruption puts both mother and baby in jeopardy.

Causes/Risk Factors:

• Previous placental abruption. If you've experienced placental abruption before, you're at higher risk of experiencing it again.
• High blood pressure. High blood pressure — whether chronic or as a result of pregnancy — increases the risk of placental abruption.
• Abdominal trauma. Trauma to your abdomen — such as from a fall or other type of blow to the abdomen — makes placental abruption more likely.
• Substance abuse. Placental abruption is more common in women who smoke or use cocaine during pregnancy.
• Premature rupture of the membranes. During pregnancy, the baby is surrounded and cushioned by a fluid-filled membrane called the amniotic sac. The risk of placental abruption increases if the sac leaks or breaks before labor begins.
• Blood-clotting disorders. Any condition that impairs your blood's ability to clot increases the risk of placental abruption.
• Multiple pregnancy. If you're carrying more than one baby, the delivery of the first baby can cause changes in the uterus that trigger placental abruption before the other baby or babies are delivered.
• Maternal age. Placental abruption is more common in older women, especially after age 40.

I already know from doctors at the hospital that the most common risk factors did not apply to me, none of the risks listed above is me. My placenta was also examined and while it did contain infarctions there was not enough to cause the abruption.

They do not know why it happened.

It just did.

I guess I am thinking about it so much right now with Cordelia's birthday coming up next week and the possibility of maybe trying for another baby.

Nearly a year on it still seems all so real and surreal at the same time. I am still very sad and miss my baby everyday no matter how hard I work on my grief.

It is just so unfair that the abruption happened. That is was so severe it took Cordelia's life and a piece of mine too.