I know this is an odd thing to have on a blog about baby loss but I need light in this dark tunnel, I need nice things to look forward to, I need more positive things in my life so I have created this list. There is nothing quite like losing a child to make you question your life and what it has amounted to so far. I am very fortunate to be a mother to a daughter that I get to hold and squeeze everyday and for that I am grateful but I felt so lost after Cordelia passed away, what was my place in life-where do I belong? What have I achieved? I still feel like this-a little lost. My failures suddenly seemed so big-all of them. Things on your bucket list are meant to make you happy, fulfilled, proud, excited, scared and who knows what else. To be kind to myself my bucket list is not going to be a typical bucket list but more of a glorified to do list. I would actually like to be able to achieve things on my list and not put pressure on myself to achieve the unachievable but that being said I need to dream a little too.
To do:
- Learn German ( I do live in Switzerland after all)
- Visit Ticino
- Try snowboarding again
- See Radiohead live
- Make a scrapbook for W
- Sit in a swimming pool bar
- See the northern lights
- Be happy
- Go on a Rhine Cruise
- Eat real Cajun food in the southern US
- Figure a way to give back to the baby loss community
- Go see the Morgestraich at the Basel Fasnacht
- Go to New York
- See a drive in movie
- Get my tattoo for Cordelia
- Taboggan worlds longest taboggan run in Switzerland
Achieved!!:
- Finish long overdue wedding photo book
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